I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
