I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
