Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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