Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
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