She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Randomize
