If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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