Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
i need some magic done to my vagina
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