No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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