Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
