i'm signing you up for texting rehab
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Randomize
