I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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