this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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