zippers are such a cool invention
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
