You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Randomize
