well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Randomize
