If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
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