Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
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