first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Randomize
