If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
