We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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