I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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