Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
either way he was missing a nipple.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Randomize
