my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
I look better un-naked...
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Randomize
