I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
