Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
