the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
