if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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