can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Randomize