those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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