At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
My vagina just clenched in fear
Randomize
