Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Banned from zoo.
Again?
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
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