Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
