I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Randomize