We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
