why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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