I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
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