As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Randomize
