In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
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