im gay
i know
yea but for you.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
