Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Randomize
