i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
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