i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize