So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Randomize
