no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
