I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
