Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
I wish you could order shots online.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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