i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
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