I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
