just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Randomize
