So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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