You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
