You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Randomize
