i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize
