we have officially mastered the walk of shame
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Randomize
