I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
You smell like a Billy Joel song
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
