My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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