it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
