K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Randomize
