this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize