why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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