I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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